Obey My Blog

Never let your persistence and passion turn into stubbornness and ignorance.
Anthony J. D’Angelo

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I have finally emerged from a work and web design cocoon. In the past few weeks I’ve had to choose between writing and sleeping. Considering this is my first post in two weeks or so, I guess it goes without saying that sleep won…

This is what happens when you try to work 50 hours a week, take a Tai Chi class, take a Zazen class, practice both Tai Chi and zazen on a regular basis, try to have a social life and participate in a web design competition.

Actually, I don’t think I had a choice … sleep chose me!

Anyway, I have been doing a little reflecting on my Tai Chi practice and I realize that I’ve been doing everything all wrong! This doesn’t surprise me, but I am amazed at how being stubborn and remaining loyal to my first Tai Chi teacher has kept me from moving forward. When I first learned Tai Chi, I just didn’t pay attention to the subtle things like oh, I don’t know, posture, leg strength and the fact that the force was coming from my arms and not my center.

Kind of important stuff!

The more I practice though the more I realize that there is a method to this stubborn madness of mine. I cling to my old ways of doing Tai Chi because it is safe – because it is familiar. Even though it’s all wrong! But it is so much harder to let that go and accept new ways of doing things. Even if these new ways are better for me.

Oddly enough, I developed this stubbornness as a way to protect myself. And that’s okay – there’s nothing wrong with that. But this stubbornness has turned into a hindrance and has actually made my ability to learn much more difficult.

This is not to say that my first Tai Chi teacher didn’t know what he was doing. He was actually quite good. But without really knowing what I was doing, I attempted to copy him. Which is perfectly normal for a beginner, but I see the limitations of this now.

And it’s not something that I developed because of Tai Chi or anything like that. I actually brought this with me when I first started practicing. Seeing this now in my Tai Chi class has made me more aware of other aspects of my life where I’ve been too stubborn to move forward or just accept something the way it is (funny how that happens…).

This makes me wonder – what else have I been missing? What other subtleties have I completely overlooked simply because I’ve been too stubborn to notice?

I’ve been taking Qigong now for seven weeks. But this isn’t just any Qigong – this is Sheng Zhen Qigong – Qigong of Unconditional Love. To get an idea of what I’ve been learning, here is a video of Master Li’s daughter doing the exact movements I’ve been learning (although admittedly with much more agility and grace than I have at the moment).

There is no mysterious force behind the movements. It is a practice. But that does not mean it is without intent or without heart. It is all about heart actually. And to practice without intent is well…a bit pointless.

In my spare time (ha!), I’ve also been participating in the AIR Interactive. What is that, you say? It is the Accessible Internet Rally which occurs every spring. Teams come together and compete against one another to build a website for a non-profit that is completely accessible. Then, we attend SXSW Interactive and find out who wins! So, a worthy non-profit gets a brand new redesigned website for free and another website on the world wide web is made accessible. Not to mention, web developers get to learn how to make their sites more accessible on a day to day basis.

Our team is in the design phase now. I decided to try my hand at designing from scratch and luckily the designer on our team humored me. Ultimately though, when I saw her design I immediately knew it was the better one. I am humbled, but also inspired. It is my wish to become more creative in what I do every day, so I’ll keep plugging away…

It occurred to me today that I need to register for the SXSW Interactive. I missed it last year, but I am determined to attend this year, damnit! I’m looking forward to immersing myself in UX and Interactive Design – woohoo! The only thing I would like to avoid is the social media. I know, I know – how could I say that?? I’m just burned out on it I tell ya. It’s awesome, yes indeed, but I need a break man.

As an Anthropology student many years ago, I was pretty sure my advisor thought I was nuts for wanting to minor in Photography. How awesome and strange that I have somehow managed to combine my love of art and technology with my interest in helping people (through my job at Convio). I always thought I had to choose between the two.

Speaking of Photography, I finally got all the old black and white photographs I took in my classes back from my Dad. I couldn’t believe my eyes – they were – hideous! How is it that time distorts our memories so well? I knew that the second portfolio I put together was hideous when I did it. My heart wasn’t in it and it definitely shows. But all of my other photographs I cherished and thought exuded real talent. Well, they don’t. Not really. There are actually a few good ones, but most are overexposed, underexposed or just plain uninteresting. But that’s okay. I learned a lot from those classes and it’s still all here in the ol noodle. Just today I was eyeing a shiny new Nikon digital SLR. The D90. Oh yeah… a nice little diddy in my price range. Sort of…